One of our older members, O.T. Hill, sends us The Senility Prayer that he saw floating around the net.  We edited it a bit, and present it below.  The Senility Prayer appears to be something adapted from The Serenity Prayer, which is used by twelve-step programs. (O.T. won't tell us what "O.T." stands for, but we can guess.)But first, let us show you the version of The Serenity Prayer that is used by the Dull Men's Club, a two-step program (see FAQs, click here):

God . . . grant me the serenity that comes from changing very little . . . amen

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God . . . grant me the senility to forget the people I've never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do like, and the eyesight to see the difference

And, now that I've grown older (but have I grown up?), here's what I've found:

ONE

I started out with nothing.  I still have most of it.

TWO

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

THREE

I finally got my head together.  But now my body is falling apart.

FOUR

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

FIVE

I spend a lot of time now thinking about the hereafter.  I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm there after.

SIX

If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN

It was easier to get older than it was to get wiser.

EIGHT

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

 NINE

 When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

TEN

Some days you're the dog.  Some days you're the hydrant.

ELEVEN

I don't remember ever being absent minded.

TWELVE

 I can’t remember whether or not I’ve already E-mailed this to you.