Dull men are practical. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that we like practical jokes. We often use them as pomposity-busters. We pull them on people who are too highfalutin, to pull these people back down to earth.

Here are some of our favorites:

Speed Trap

With a late model car and a hairdryer, park on a busy road . . . point the hairdryer at the oncoming traffic.

[Thanks to Peter Nunan for this one]

[What to do if a patrolman pulls up-- Say you are drying your hair. What if you are bald? Say you
spilled some coffee, you are now drying up the spill.]

Really Clean Teeth

    Like someone to have really clean teeth? Give them a tube of toothpaste. But only after you've opened the tube of toothpaste and held it tightly together with an opened tube of shaving cream . . . and squeezed some of the shaving cream into the toothpaste.

[Thanks to Denis for this one]

Sound of Fax

    Using a fax machine, dial the victims regular phone number. The victim will, of course, appreciate the loud, scratchy sound of the fax machine in his ear.

        [Thanks Woody Burton for sending this to us.]

An Ice Cream Sunday

     Get some vanilla ice cream. Put several scoops of it into a nice ice cream dish. Then, just like you are preparing a Chocolate Sunday, spoon on the topping. But , instead of chocolate, use Marmite.

Anti-shopping-lifting

    Go shopping with a friend that you want to pull a practical joke on. When you are in the store, pull one of those tags that set off the store's alarms off of an item in the store, slip the tag into your friend's pocket.

[Thanks to www-personal.umd.umich.edu/~nhughes/htmldocs/pracjokes.html]

A do-it-yourself airplane meal

    Take some potato salad onto the airplane. Also a spoon or fork (plastic nowadays).  Once you are seated, reach into the seat pocket in front of you, take out the sick bag, put the potato salad into the sick bag.

    When the meal is being served, say to the flight attendant, "No thanks . . . I've brought my own."  Then proceed to eat your potato salad.

        [Thank you Kevin Thorpe for this one] 

A girlfriend

When you meet a friend's girlfriend, say, "Hello, you must be Susan" I've heard so much about you,-- knowing full well her name is Jennifer or something.

[Thanks to B. Haze. That or something? . . . Mr. Haze, are you from the Mid West of America--]

In a hospital, enjoying a meal

The nurse brought a lunch tray to Norman Cousins, who was in a hospital "laughing his way to wellness."  The nurse also brought Mr. Cousins one of those glasses used for urine specimens, saying that when convenient he should put a specimen in the glass, that she'd pick it up when she came back to pick up the tray.

Mr. Cousins, seeing some apple juice on the tray, put two and two together.  He poured the juice in the specimen glass.

The nurse came back.  She picked up the specimen, held it up to the light, said, "Mr. Cousins, this looks a little off, the color doesn't seem quite right, are you feeling okay?"

Mr. Cousins reached out his hand for the glass and said, "Here, let me look."   After looking at it, he said, "Okay, I'll run it through again," then drank it.