January is a favorite month for Dull Men. It has quietened down after the holidays. Very little is happening. Except it usually is snowing, which means that Dull Men can indulge in a favorite pastime — shoveling snow. We can't wait for the snow to stop so we can get out there and start shoveling off of our sidewalks and driveways. Even when it is not snowing, we often are seen outdoors going through our snow-shoveling exercises. And talking with each other, exchanging views on the best techniques, the best shovels, and the best clothes to wear when shoveling.

Dull Men Busy on New Year's Eve Many of us were busy practicing writing 2005. We wrote it out over and over again (we like repetitiveness). By doing this, we were ready to hit the ground running in 2004. We won't make mistakes when writing checks. New Year's Resolutions Floss more; clean slippers regularly; arrange refrigerator by sell-by dates at least once a month; make certain our staplers are full; phone mother; brush our Hush Puppies nightly; check on slippers; eat Velveeta instead of brie; drink club soda instead of Perrier; if tempted to eat some Ben and Jerry's, eat only their vanilla (it's wonderful [exclamation point removed]); balance checkbook; check slippers. Make Each Day Count — Live One Day at a Time   Each New Year's Day, the Dear Abby column presents New Year's Resolutions adapted from some of the Twelve-Step Programs. Although we are only are a Two-Step Program (we admit we are Dull, we're going to keep it that way), we likewise adopt and adapt it — with some touches from Mr. Rogers — for our website:     Just for Today, I will try to live through this day only, not try to tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.       Just for Today, I will try to avoid excitement. Instead, I will try to live slowly and methodically, enjoying the simple, mundane — and dull — things that life offers.       Just for Today, I will remember what Abe Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."       Just for Today, I will adjust myself to what is, not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.       Just for Today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.       Just for Today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try too improve or control anyone except myself.       Just for Today, I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly. But I will have it. It will save me from two pests: hurry and indecision.   Other Events   Silent Record Week January 1–7: To commemorate the anniversary of the invention of the silent record in 1960, first played on jukeboxes in Detroit. The following year a Silent Record Concert and Recording Session featuring emcee Henry Morgan, Soupy Sales, and the 120 piece Hush Symphonic Band. This is great — silent records — and music from the Hush Symphonic Band — perfect music for a Dull Man. And don’t forget — wear your Hush Puppies to the concerts. International Life Balance Month The sponsors ask, "Ever feel like a tumbleweed being blown about with no control because of all the demands on your time — overwhelmed by all the choices — choices that cause stress and isolation?" They recommend that we focus on making better strategic decisions all year long to get our lives in balance. For more info, go to www.Sheryl.com. We agree — and point out that if we eliminate exciting things, our lives will be much less stressed. National Bath Safety Month January is designated as National Bath Safety Month — to raise awareness of bath tubs’ hazards and encourage people to conduct a bathroom safety audit. For more info, go to www.homecareamerica.com. Dull Men like bathtubs. We don’t need Jacuzzis. A simple bath at home is fine enough for us. No need to change clothes, wear a bathing suit, and worry about what people say about how we look in a bathing suit. Oatmeal Month January is designated as Oatmeal Month. "Celebrate oatmeal, a low-fat, sodium-free, whole grain that, when eaten daily as a part of a diet that is low in saturated fat and cholesterol, may help reduce the risk of heart disease." Sponsored by guess who? You go it — Quaker Oats. Contact their Oat Expert in Chicago (phone (312) 629-1234) for delicious recipes, helpful hints, and tips for the heart-health benefits of oatmeal. Trivia Day January 4: Celebrated by those who have doctorates in uselessology. For into: Robert L. Birch, Puns Corps, Falls Church, VA phone (703) 533-3668. Pentagon Completion Anniversary January 15: On this day in 1943 the world larges office building was completed. A place where many dull men work. Tin Can U.S. Patent Anniversary January 19: On this day in 1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett obtained a U.S. patent for a process for storing food in tin cans. Want to send a greeting card to a dull man in celebration of this? Click here. It was a Frenchman, however, in the 1790s, who pioneered the process of canning food, as pointed out to us by Simon Brand, click here. Ice Fest January 27-28: A weekend of ice-carving demonstrations in Ligonier, PA, as blocks of ice are turned into0 works of art. Dull like to attend; we like to watch the ice melt. Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day January 31: A day to celebrate the joy that Bubble Wrap brings to our lives. A day to learn about the history of bubble wrap and to learn snapping etiquette. Info: www.SPIRIT95FM.COM Dental Drill Patent Anniversary January 26: On this day in 1875 George F. Green patented the electric dental drill. Not all dull men are accountants and actuaries; some are dentists. Events to Avoid Great Fruitcake Toss January 8: at Manitou Springs, Colorado. We like fruitcake. We don't like to see fruitcakes abused. So don't go to the Great Fruitcake Toss. Instead, stay home and enjoy your leftover fruitcake. Intimate Apparel Market Week January 12-16: Not for dull men. Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day January 23: A day when snowplow drivers try to see how many mailboxes they can know over. Not for dull men