You might be surprised, but not all our members are accountants. Some are in insurance. There are several dentists. And one easy-listening music critic. Once in a while, the non-accountants like to have a little fun. Here's some of the things they josh the accountants about . . . especially those "different" accountants from Arthur Andersen, those "flashy" accountants that tried to be different from the normal (methodical, tedious, honest . . . dull) accountants that belong to the DMC:
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Arthur Andersen . . . changing light bulbs
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How many Arthur Andersen accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven. One to reach up and change the light bulb. Ten to try to find out why they didn’t know until now that the bulb was burned out.
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Arthur Andersen . . . good new, bad news from Sadam Hussein
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Good news: Sadam Hussein says he'll let arms inspectors back into Iraq.Bad news: He says they must come from Arthur Andersen.
[Overheard at the World Economic Forum in New York, February 2, 2002, according to CNN]
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What's the definition of an accountant?
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Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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Songs Accountants Like "Don't Be Accrual", "Account Your Many Blessings", and "Adjust Called to Say I Love You"
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What are the two types of accountants?
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Those who can count . . . and those who can't. [Kelvin, thanks for this.]
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What does an accountant use for birth control?
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His personality.
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When does a person decide to become an accountant?
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When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to sell insurance.
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What's an extroverted accountant?
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One who looks at your shoes instead of his own shoes when he's talking to you.
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What's an auditor?
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Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
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Why did the auditor cross the road?
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Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
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Those who can count and those who can't.
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How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
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Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
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What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
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Someone who has a loophole named after him.
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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
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"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
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